Thursday, July 14, 2005
Christopher’s Manchester Weblog - Summer 2005 - Days 3 and 4 - Fashion Updates, Cues and Hot Water
Days 3 and 4 of this summer’s trip
Thursday and Friday were relatively quiet days, so I though I would just combine them into a single entry…
British Fashion Update
Several of you wanted an update on English women’s “fashion.” As you may know, for the past several years the “in-thing” has been to show as much midriff (the bellybutton for those of us who don’t use midriff in polite conversation) as is humanly possible. I am glad to inform you that the bottom of shirts and the top of pants have risen slightly since last year! This is particularly good news since the London Times just had a very long article about the fact that waistlines among the Brits, especially women, have continued to expand. This years fashions seem to have changed to accommodate this growing problem.
However, I am sad to inform you that there is clearly a fabric shortage crisis here in the United Kingdom. There clearly is not enough fabric to go around for this change in lengthening the bottom of shirts and the top of pants. This crisis has called for radical measures. Given the clear dearth of cloth, they have added this additional fabric to cover the “bellybutton expression area” by taking it from elsewhere in the shirt. As you might have guessed…
This year’s fashion focus is to show as much of the “white meat” of the woman as possible while not yet qualifying for a “Page Three” pictorial (for those who like me had never heard of “Page 3 girls,” these are the women who pose topless on page 3 of many of the newssheets here, for no other reason than to…actually I have no reason why there are nude women staring at you opposite an article about the Tories continuing search for a new party leader).
Thursday I took my first trip to downtown since arriving, and from the time I stepped onto the train I knew that the fashion change was not an isolated one. Teen girls, college women, professionals, mothers, and literally every women who is not a Muslim it seems in this city, has adopted the “ready for breast feeding” clothing. To give you a picture, image a sharp V cut that goes down to near the diaphragm, while using as little material as possible to connect the shoulder with the rest of the top. There you go…they fixed the midriff while using not one bolt more of cloth! Those ingenious British designers.
As I walked through the city all I could think of was that Barbara Walters, who started a nationwide furor among the Lactavists (breast-feeding women who are proud of it and militant) because she commented about how inappropriate it is to feed on the plane would have passed out if she walked the streets of Manchester. Mind you that none of these women were actually feeding a baby (as you well know from previous weblogs, no one has children in this country), but they were ready for the occasion.
In case you are wondering…no, undergarments for the topside of the female body seem also to be out this year….again I can only surmise a fabric shortage. If you are wondering if this creates any temptations for a man far from his gorgeous wife for four long weeks, let me assure you. These are still English women. Temptation is not a problem, as it wasn’t when I was being blinded by the bellybuttons the past two summers.
My first real cue!
Of course the highlight of the day on Thursday was getting to participate in my first real cue. Don’t get me wrong, I have stood in lots of lines since I started coming here in 2003. But always they were lines for things that I had to or really wanted to go to, use, etc. But Thursday was all together different.
There I was at Primark, where Brits shop for Target clothing at Walmart prices, and had picked out two items to fix my inevitable packing mistakes. I walked towards the checkout area and…”that can’t be the line.” Folks, we are talking Space Mountain in the middle of summer. This line wrapped and wrapped and wrapped.
Now, if I was in America I would have just said forget it and left. So would the other shoppers. This is of course why Target has 412 checkout stands at the front of every store. But not the Brits. A cue is like taking communion at Catholic mass, its not only not an option to avoid, it’s the whole reason for being there.
So I dutifully went to the end of the line, which I think was near Sheffield, and stood there. The line moved, not slowly but not at a rapid pace. I listened intently to all the conversations around me. I can proudly tell you that my Arabic and Hindi are coming along quite well, though my Pashtun is still woefully inadequate. The Primark is the place to shop for many of the immigrants to Manchester. I took in the whole experience. I was “cueing” for the first time in my life and felt so very British. The only thing missing was a tea stand midway through the line to refresh oneself (though, of course, the Brits have given into the evil empire and drink coffee now).
I got to the front of the line and to the till. I paid for my products, but felt strangely sad about leaving my new found cuemates (do suppose they have on-line cues where you can cue while at home). Where do all these people go to for community outside the cue? Will we ever see each other again? And if we do, will we remember fondly the day we stood in the Primark cue together?
Smoking Ban in England?
There is a lot of talk right now about making a solid no smoking policy in all indoor facilities, including pubs. They passed this in Ireland last year, to protect restaurant workers from second hand smoke. There is a big push on right now to get everyone here to stop smoking, given that there health care costs are skyrocketing and the people are getting heavier and lazier.
Thursday I had lunch downtown at a pub, and this got to me thinking. Every single person in this pub at lunchtime, and I mean everyone (except me) was smoking. It was like being seated in the railyard in the 1800s; there was just smoke and haze (in case your wondering, yes, it does effect the taste of the food, but not the Strongbow). So, if they pass a ban on smoking in pubs, will:
1) Anyone go out to eat?
2) Will the pubs actually have to decorate since you will be able to see the walls?
3) What will happen to all those ashtrays?
4) Will they have a smoking cue outside the pub so that people can inhale before they eat?
My Dorm
And then there is my wonderful dorm room. I asked for and got the same room I have had the past couple of trips. Its nice and big, and I have all my stuff spread out, have made a little fort, and am enjoying the space. The mattresses have go to be Gitmo rejects, as they have actually gotten worse and it does feel more and more like sleeping on the rack (or at least the side of Pikes Peak).
I do however have internet in my room and have been using it along with Vonage to make local calls to Tanya each day using the internet. Talk about high-tech. Next comes travel through the internet, I am sure.
But of course a trip to Nazarene Theological College would not be complete without some major problem. No, in the olden days, one would have to worry about showering without hot water. In the year 2005, its just the opposite. Our lovely shower gives you lots of hot water. Tons. But, the cold water does not work. No really, its just hot water. Makes taking a shower interesting. Picture little kids running through the sprinklers on a hot summer day – that is me taking a shower. I dash through the spray (Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!). Lather. Dash (Ouch…) Repeat. I tried washing my hair the first day. Burned my scalp (finally found a good reason to grow my hair out). I now wash my hair in the sink or out in the rain. You get the picture. I have not washed my clothes in the shower since the first time here, but if I need to do whites, I will have to think about it.
This Weekend and Next Week
Saturday I head to Oxford and London. Sunday to Wednesday I go to Cambridge. Write again soon.
Christopher
